: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
