If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
