how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
