): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
