he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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