i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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