I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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