Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
