Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
People with herpes should wear stickers.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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