You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
