Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
