it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
