Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
