I wish my penis had an off switch
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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