We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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