how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
