Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
