Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
