dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
