Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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