Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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