FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize