He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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