it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Duck Duck Cougar?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
