first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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