Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
