I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
