I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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