So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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