i just wanna soil my oats bro
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize