we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
