How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
