i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
