Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
