remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
P.S. I can't hear my feet
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
