we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize