Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Less talking, more tequila
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
