that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
