So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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