just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
