You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
