One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
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