Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
