its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
