I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
