Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
