so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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