I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
