i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
