you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
