All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
did i walk over a car last night?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She needs sedatives and a leash
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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