There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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