Its about making memories worth repressing
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
