weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
