how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
