If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
