Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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