Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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