btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize