So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
