my room smells like sperm. sweet.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
