why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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