I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
